Thursday, June 05, 2008
One Word
You can only answer with one word…
1) Where is your cell phone? PURSE
2) Your significant other? QUINTON
3) Your hair? GORGEOUS
4) Your skin? PASTY
5) Your father? DIED
6) Your favorite thing? DISH
7) Your dream last night? TOOTHLESS
8) Your favorite drink? PEPSI
9) Your dream/goal? DEGREE
10) The room you’re in? LIVING
11) Your ex? WHO
12) Your fear? GUNS
13) Where do you want to be in 6 years? GRADUATED
14) Where were you last night? HOME
15) What you’re not? SUBTLE
16) Muffins? BLUEBERRY
17) One of your wish list items? IRONSTONE
18) Where you grew up? PHOENIX
19) The last thing you did? WALKED
20) What are you wearing? PAJAMAS
21) Your TV? SAMSUNG
22) Your pet(s)? JANGO
23) Your computer? LAPTOP
24) Your life? COLORFUL
25) Your mood? INTROSPECTIVE
26) Missing someone? SURE
27) Your car? MUSTANG
28) Something you’re not wearing? HAT
29) Favorite store? ANTHROPOLOGIE
30) Your summer? QUIET
31) Like someone? YES
32) Your favorite colour? PINK
33) When is the last time you laughed? DINNER
34) Last time you cried? RECENTLY
35) Favorite TV judge? ALEX
36) Favorite pig out food? OREOS
37) Something you do too often? CUSS
38) Something you don't do often enough? DUST
39) Who will/would re-post this? PAT
40) Whose answers are you anxious to see? CRAIG
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday 13: Foods That Suck

2. Pasta that is so ovecooked and mushy that it's almost slimey.
3. Pizza with soggy, greasy crust
4. Miracle Whip
5. Sushi from the mall food court
6. Chewy steak
7. Dried out marshmellows
8. Airport salsa
9. Anything with lumps...especially gravy or pudding
10. Ketchup
11. Coconut
12, Bread that isn't absolutely, perfectly fresh
13. Veg-All
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Family Jargon, Part 3
Mom's Special Recipe: Same as Lucas', but I add a dusting of garlic powder.
Fiesta Trained: This is how I describe Lucas. At age 10, that boy knows vintage Cobalt from Post-86 Sapphire (the two colors are very close). And when I take him to the antique mall, he can spot Ironstone Fiesta at 30 paces.
Dead Smoothie: A really foul odor. So named after the time I left an empty smoothie cup in the car. The combination of hot stagnant air and rotting mango residue made the whole interior smell bad. I didn't notice it--my sense of smell is rather scant. But Q and Lucas sure did when they used the car to run an errand. When they came home, Q implored me to throw my empty Jamba Juice cups away after I'm finished with them. Lucas cited that my car smells like "a dead smoothie".
Toy Cry: The really loud, low-pitched howling meow Jango makes when she has a toy in her mouth. She sounds like she's in excrutiating pain, but she just has a plastic milk jug seal clenched between her teeth.
The Overheater: It's what we call my last car, a Ford Explorer (please don't lynch me, Christopher...it was very handy when the boys were babies). Kyle started calling it The Overheater because it was doing just that. We sold the car shortly thereafter, but the name stuck. Now, that's what we call any mid-90s model Explorer we see on the road. My overheating incident occurred at:
The Death Corner: The intersection of 67th Avenue and Bell Road in north Glendale. So named because it is at this corner where I've had a disportionate amount of car trouble. Dead batteries...overheating (see above)... There may have been a flat tire or two. I was once at a store at there when the car just wouldn't start.
Impulse Chocolate: Example: You're standing in the checkout line at Linens 'n' Things armed with some washcloths and a soapdish. You also have a coupon for $5 off any purchase of $15 or more. The total comes to $14.38. You need just one more cheap item to be coupon eligible. You impulsively grab the nearest under $1 item and add it to your order, bringing the pre-coupon total to $15.22. Impulse Chocolate is so named because the hastily chosen item is usually chocolate, but it can be anything from a BIC lighter to a magnet ribbon.
The Bank of Lucas: This child hardly ever spends his money (he must get that from his dad). Except for the occasional candy purchase, most of his Christmas gift cards and birthday money have gone unspent. As a result, Lucas tends to step forward when Kyle needs a few extra dollars to afford that new video game. I once went to the B of L to break a twenty-dollar bill.
Wet Bed Head: This is a more disheveled version of regular bed head. WBH is the hairstyle that results when you take a shower then go to bed without first drying your hair.
Family Jargon, Part 1
Family Jargon, Part 2
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday 13: Favorite Foods

1. Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream from Baskin-Robbins. I lived on this stuff when I was pregnant with Kyle.
9. Girl Scouts Thin Mint cookies. Again...frozen.
11. Waffles served with warm strawberries and lots and LOTS of whipped cream.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Arizona Rain Dance
It doesn't rain in Phoenix very often, but it did yesterday. The showers were unexpected and very brief, but I did manage to get caught in a downpour. Here's how to ensure that it will rain:--Carry a suede purse.
--Have a really good hair day.
--Wash your car. Rain chances will more than triple if you go to the auto spa and spring for the VIP Platinum service instead of doing it yourself at home.
--Set a few newly washed cashmere sweaters outside to dry, and forget about them.
--Leave the convertible parked with the top down.
--Wear your favorite leather sandals.
--Forget to close the windows before leaving for the day.
--Accidentally leave your umbrella in your husband's/friend's/sister's/boss's car.
--Run the sprinklers and water all plants.
Additional ideas would be appreciated. We could sure use more rain here.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Hints and Tips

--Use the meats of walnut to hide surface scratches from the wood floor. Simply rub the walnut into the scratch and it pretty much disappears.
--When pushing a shopping cart, string the belt of the baby seat through your purse handle and clip it shut. This tactic may not completely thwart a purse snatcher, but it will make your bag just a bit harder to steal.
.
--Keep a baby sock in the car. It will come in handy on a hot day when the stick shift knob could double as a branding iron. Just slip the sock over the handle, and you won't have that shifting diagram burned into the palm of your hand.--Don't let junk mail make its way into the house. Make a stop at the recycling can before going inside.
.
--If your wife sighs and rolls her eyes, something is wrong. DO NOT ignore her. Doing so is grounds for her to make your life hell.
--Covered sugar bowls make great dispensers for kitty treats. They're prettier than foil zip-top baggies, too.Monday, April 07, 2008
Family Jargon, Part 2
Mars Cam: As seen on the local morning news. Footage taken from ADOT freeway cameras at sunrise. So named because on some mornings, the rising sun casts a glow that makes everything look red. (Courtesy of Lucas)
Road Sign Guy: The circle-headed, silhouette guy whose picture is mostly seen on school crosswalk signs. Road Sign Guy has branched out and is now found on graphic novelty t-shirts, water heater warning labels, and some IKEA furniture assembly manuals. He's very popular in our house.
Throw-Up Pac-Man: Player 2 in Namco Museum's Pac-Man game. So named because he's green and looks like he's about to puke. (Courtesy of Kyle)Thursday, April 03, 2008
Thursday 13: Conveniences
1. iPod: Changing CDs after 12 songs is just a pain in the butt. Plus, I can hear Pablo Cruise and Sammy Hagar concurrently. Try THAT with FM radio!
2. Memory stick: Or flash drive, or USB key, or whatever you choose to call it. This thing allows me to store work done at home and retrieve it on the school computers, or vice versa. I lose this thing so much that I should be wearing it around my neck like some sort of nerd bling. In fact, I probably would if it was pink instead of white and day-glow green (Q bought it).
3. Debit cards: I haven't gone inside the mini market to pay for gas in over 10 years!!!! I no longer carry a checkbook, either.
4. Live streaming: This allows me to listen to The Adam Carolla Show over the Internet. The former FreeFM station in Phoenix changed its format to bad pop music and rap last June. Imagine my surprise when the radio alarm went off and instead of hearing AC rant on about airport security, we got Paris Hilton music! Rude awakening, indeed!
5. Remote control for the ceiling fans: No more getting off the couch to adjust the fan speed.
6. Caller-ID: This feature came in REALLY handy when Q was sick. Some days, I wouldn't even answer the phone unless the readout indicated that the call was from the hospital. In those cases, it was usually Q calling to tell me he got his test results. Oh, and could I please bring him some clean t-shirts and when I come in tomorrow?
7. The on-screen program guide that comes with digital cable: We used to buy a Sunday newspaper just for the TV listing insert (and Parade magazine). Later, we'd see what's on by consulting the TV Guide Channel. The latter method was fine when the schedule scrolled up the whole length of the screen. Nowadays, TVGC is less TV Guide and more Channel. If it weren't for the on-screen guide, we'd probably get rid of digital cable. There are far too many crap channels on our cable system. Did you know there's a C-SPAN 3?
8. Cell phone: Surprisingly, I don't use mine that often. I make maybe 10 calls per week...most of which are to Quinton's office or to check on the boys. Sometimes the battery dies at the bottom of my purse. Even so, my cell phone is like a security blanket. I just know something bad is going to happen if I don't have it.
9. Swiffer SweeperVac: Lightweight and cordless, this battery-operated broom vac allows me to do quick sweep ups of dust bunnies, crumbs, and errant kitty litter. Definitely better than a broom and dust pan. I just wish it had better suction.
10. The ability to get cash back at the point of purchase: I don't understand why people complain about ATM fees. They are the easiest thing to avoid! Just go to the store, buy some beer and Cheetos, and pay with a debit card. When prompted, tell the little machine you want cash back, and how much. Most grocery stores big box retailers make this option available. And unlike an ATM--which only dispenses twenties and fifties--the cashier will break it down any way you wish. The only problem is, most places allow you to withdraw a limited amount...usually $40.
11. Air conditioning: Living in Phoenix, I use the car A/C year-round. Even in December, the inside of a parked car can reach 80 degrees, plus.
12. Spray-on sunscreen: This stuff is expensive and one can doesn't last very long...at least not around here. But application is quick and not nearly as messy as regular sunscreen.
13. Online bill pay: Check writing is down, and postage stamp use is WAY down. We only have a handful of expenses that require us to write a check and mail it. I only use online bill pay if it's free. There's an online service I could use to add money to the boys' school lunch account, but they want to charge a $2.50 transaction fee. To this I say: "Lucas, please drop off the lunch check on your way to band practice."
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Thursday 13: Everyday
Thirteen things I do everyday:Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday 13: The eBay Edition

Thirteen items I have bought on eBay:
1. Video games. Buying used video games saves big money. The trick is getting the boys to wait for the package to arrive in the mail.
2. College textbooks. I was too lazy to drive to the campus bookstore. Anyway, I think I saved a few dollars this way.
3. Legoland passes. The savings was considerable.
4. Dishes. Lots and LOTS and LOTS of dishes. I wouldn't have a Harlequin collection without eBay.
5. Cell phone accessories. Cheaper than going to the Verizon store...as long as you can find a seller who doesn't charge inflated shipping fees.
6. Glow stick bracelets. I give these out at Halloween instead of candy.
7. A Genie Wireless Keypad. The boys haven't been locked out since we installed this thing.
8. Clothing. Ebay is a great way to get gently-worn designer items for a pennies on the dollar. It also beats facing disappointment when the Anthropologie sale rack has nothing cute in your size.
9. Yu-Gi-Oh cards. These are now sitting at the bottom of a drawer.
10. Pink Legos. Years ago, Kyle wanted more variety for the Lego City he was building. The city has since been dismantled, but he still has the little house I built using the pink Legos. It's now covered in dust.
11. A leaf canister for the pool. What did we ever do without this thing?
12. Vacuum cleaner filters. I couldn't find them locally.
13. A St. Joseph statue that you bury in the ground when you're trying to sell a house. And yes, it worked.
Monday, March 10, 2008
35

--As of today, I am now classified as being in my "mid-30's". Before, I could get away with "early-30s"...even if it was on a technicality.
--I am no longer part of any target demographic. The world is busy catering to teenagers and old people. A perfect example is the store offerings at Arrowhead Towne Center in Glendale.
--Screen-printed novelty t-shirts are cute...when worn by other people.
--I am now old enough to run for president.
.
--I know how to drive a stick shift, use a sewing machine, and operate AutoCAD. But I can't get the hang of texting.
.
--My day is not complete until I have watched the news.
.
--A good moisturizer that contains sunscreen is of utmost importance.
.
--So far, I have managed to elude that first gray hair. Let's see how long THAT lasts!
.
--I am now of cougar age. I may no longer be a puma, but at least I'm a long way from sabre-tooth.
.
--I am seemingly the youngest Mustang driver on the road.
--Speaking my mind is a whole lot easier than it was in my 20s.
--The oldies station now plays music from my lifetime.
--A wild and crazy night consists of Chinese take-out, chocolate martinis, and making snarky comments about the clueless naifs Property Ladder.
--I no longer care if my clothes are trendy...just as long as they're comfortable and make me look thinner than I really am. .
--My driver's license will expire in exactly 30 years.
--Instead of a weekend in Vegas, that extra cash is spent on new tires, veterinary bills, and getting the garage door fixed.
--I have wrinkles AND acne.
--News articles about real estate have become a form of entertainment.
--Being one of the older students at school is fun. I can teach these kids a thing or two.
