Family Jargon, Part 5

Unibrow Taillights: Taillights where the red lenses connect in the center, giving the appearance of one, continuous light. An example is this Saturn SC2.
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Escrow Papers: Part of Lucas’ weekly homework routine involves the need for a parent’s signature on each of his take-home assignments, every daily entry of his reading log, his daily planner, and his take-home folder. The escrow papers are so named because we have to “sign and date here…initial here, here, here, and here”…just like when closing escrow on a house.
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Courtesy Kibble: Every morning, Jango screams for food as if she’s being starved to death. Most times, her bowl is empty. But every so often, the bowl will still have a quite a few nuggets in it. In those cases, I’ll toss in 2 or 3 pieces of courtesy kibble to trick the cat into thinking she’s getting a fresh serving.
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New-Old: Any used or discarded item that is old to someone else, but new to me. Most of my new-old items consist of vintage dishes, second hand furniture, or the used books I find at Goodwill.
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Three D Bands: Bands whose names start with “Three D”. Examples include Three Days Grace, Three Doors Down, and Three Dog Night. Courtesy of Lucas.
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Siesta Wear: My fancy term for pajamas.
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Laverne & Shirley Doors: This can best be explained by this picture from our bathroom. If you still don't get it, you didn't watch enough TV in the late '70s.

Siamese Chaperone: The role Jango assumes when she jumps on the bed and plants herself in between me and Quinton, thwarting any attempt we may make at physical contact. Q came up with this one.
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Taco Bite: Asking for a taste of someone’s food and taking more than is offered. Eating at a Mexican restaurant, my dinner consisted of two grilled shrimp tacos. Before I started my second taco, Kyle asked if he could have a bite. I held up the taco and Kyle wrapped his entire mouth around it like a boa constrictor eating a dead rat. In one bite, Kyle had eaten more than half of my taco. Granted, it wasn’t a very big taco, but it was half of my meal. Now, whenever he anyone wants a bite of my food, I usually say yes, but “no taco bites!”
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Al Gore Light Bulbs: Lucas gets credit for this one. It’s what he calls those “green” (yet mercury filled), politically correct, uber-trendy, compact fluorescent light bulbs that are useless for anything more than a very dim nightlight.
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John Kerry Ketchup: It’s what Lucas calls any Heinz product.

Family Jargon, Part 4
Family Jargon, Part 3
Family Jargon, Part 2
Family Jargon, Part 1