Volunteer At Large

That's me. Or you can just call me VAL. Oh, but most of you already do that. Bad joke, I know. But it was a use-it-or-lose-it kind of thing.

I spent the evening selling snacks at the Mardi Gras dance at the boys' school. Most of my time was spent at the popcorn machine because other than the PTSA officers, I'm the only one who knows how to use it without burning myself (NOT an easy task). Even with repeated showers, I will most likely be smelling like salty butter all weekend.

According to the PTSA president, finding volunteers for these events is quite difficult. Funny, because I find that I actually LIKE schlepping junk food at school functions. For starters, helping out is a great way to meet people and it's good for the community. It gives me something to do other than numbing my a$$ on a Formica cafeteria bench.

And that's what a lot of the parents were doing. Since this was a family event, students were not admitted without a parent or other responsible adult. Apparently, most were under the assumption that they could just dump off their kids and go have a quiet dinner at the Chinese place down the street. Nope...it doesn't work that way. We're not running a babysitting service here, people!

So there we had it: a vast sea of kids (90% girls) out on the dance floor partying down to the likes of No Doubt, Beyonce, and whoever sings "The Electric Slide". Meanwhile, their pi$$ed-off parents sat bored at the purple plastic-covered tables and counted the seconds until 9:00.

So, dear readers, when and if you do have kids, make yourself useful and help out at their school. The PTA officers of the world will thank you. You'll be making their lives easier, and you'll be showing your children that sometimes it's important to pitch in and do work without the expectation of monetary payment.