Saturday, January 05, 2008


I know I should have made my New Year's resolutions a few days ago. But frankly, I didn't give the subject too much thought until now. That's probably because I hadn't been feeling particularly inspired (see yesterday's post). But mostly, don't put much stock in the whole idea of making radical life changes just because the local realtor sends us a new calendar magnet to hang on the side of the refrigerator. These "changes" tend to fall by the wayside after the first week or two, anyway.
That's why my resolutions--such as they are--will consist of goals that I actually can and want to keep. These include: .

--I will open myself up to music from the current century. I've already got a good start with songs by Maroon 5, No Doubt, and Amy Winehouse. Britney will not be allowed within 100 miles of my iPod, however. I get enough of her skeevy, overrated puss whenever I tune into any information it TV, radio, Internet, newspaper, or Lucas.

--I will eat less chocolate. This should be surprisingly easy because Fry's stopped stocking Lindor's peanut butter-filled truffles. If I want them bad enough, I'll have to drive to Wal-Mart. No thank you...

--I will shop at more clearance racks.

--I will throw a loud, ear-piercing conniption fit. The boys will laugh their @$$e$ off, Jango will go into hiding, and I will eventually get my way.

--I will keep at least one vase of fresh flowers on display at all times. I will not wait for Q to buy them for me. That is futile. Instead I will get them myself, and display them in one of the 5+ Fiesta vases I bought back when the Betty Crocker Catalog was going out of business.

--I will only buy and wear clothes that make my waist look small and my boobs look big.

--I will redecorate at least one room in the house.

--I will use this blog as a forum to complain about bad grammer, bad drivers, and bad TV.

--I will encourage Quinton in his desire to purchase more Fiesta bakeware.

--I will come up with at least 10 more nicknames for Jango.

--I will use a napkin to soak the pepperoni grease off my pizza.

--I will edit each and every blog entry no fewer than five times. Check back often. The post you read this morning will most likely have an additional paragraph by the afternoon.