Nowhere To Hide

I started my Christmas shopping last week. So far, I've bought almost everything online, and the packages are starting to roll in. Three packages came in Saturday's mail, three more came today, and I'm expecting almost a dozen more in the coming weeks.

Now, I have the daunting task of finding clever places to hide everything from the prying eyes of Lucas. I know that boy rummages through drawers and cabinets. I am no longer able to hide chocolate from him. He always finds my stash, sneaks a few pieces, and leaves behind an empty Hershey's bag.

So, where to hide everything. Hmmm... Sock drawer? Nah...too common. Anyway, my sock drawer is bulging to within an inch of its life. I have my mother-in-law to thank for that!

Under the bed? Up on the high closet shelves? In the trunk of the car? Locked in the spare room? Again...too common. Too boring. Too obvious. Besides, a suddenly locked bedroom door would arouse suspicion among the youngest members of the household...one of whom has trained himself to pick the interior door locks with a miniature flat-head screwdriver.

I want to hide everything well, but not too well. We have watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation five times since Thanksgiving. And I am reminded of the attic scene where Clark is hiding presents and he discovers a forgotten, dust-covered Mother's Day gift that Mom apparently never received. That could easily happen to me. I could hide the presents so well that even I forget where I put them.

Case in point: I was thinking about concealing the smallest items in the pocket of a jacket that never gets worn. Or I could jam a few things in an empty VHS sleeve, or in one of the boys' old lunch boxes that no longer gets used. But the trick would be to remember which jacket, which tape case, and which lunch box holds the Christmas cache.

A bigger chore is finding adequate hiding places for the large gifts. I ordered a few such items that are due to be delivered any day now. How am I going to conceal those oversized cartons? Stick them in the corner of the closet under a heap of old clothes? That just might have to work.

Common sense dictates that gifts should be hidden in areas where the recipients never go. Around here, that would be the cleaning supply cabinet. I hope the boys don't mind if their new goodies smell like Lemon Pledge.