Sage Advice

The following item appeared in yesterday's Dear Abby. I could have written it. In fact, I could probably write an addendum regarding phone calls.

FOLLOW THESE BASIC RULES WHEN VISITING TERMINALLY ILL

DEAR ABBY: I have just returned from visiting a close friend in the next town. She was exhausted from caring for her husband, who has terminal cancer -- but even more so from the many visits from loving friends and relatives around the country.

I experienced the same thing a few years ago, so I'm hoping you will help me to inform people of some basic rules for visiting families going through this profoundly trying experience.

Don't go for a "vacation," but rather to lend support -- and only if there is no objection.

Go healthy. Remember, the patient has no immunity after chemotherapy.

Provide your own transportation. Stay in a motel unless the home is large and the hostess has asked you to stay.

Keep visits short and positive. Long conversations are exhausting.

Provide food, preferably ready-cooked for simplicity, and do the cleanup.

Leave the house for periods of time (even a day or two) so the family can resume their medical routine.

Change the bed if you stay in the home. Remember, there is no maid service.

And last, require nothing of the family. There is nothing left for them to give.

Thank you, Abby, for letting me speak for so many.
-- GOT IT OFF MY CHEST

DEAR GOT IT: Well said. I particularly like your recommendations to stay someplace other than the home, to keep visits short so as not to deplete the patient, and not to expect to be entertained in any way. In life-or-death situations, the normal rules of hospitality do not apply, so ask not what your hosts can do for you, but what you can do for them -- and abide by what they tell you.

Sick Child Rigamarole

All last week, Lucas was fighting a head cold. On Saturday afternoon, he complained that his left ear hurt. I smell an ear infection.

The doctor's office was most likely closed, and I didn't want to make Lucas wait until Monday. So I decided to take him to the Minute Clinic inside CVS Drugstore. The nearest MC is located 5 miles away. And I figured that if it didn't work out, there was an Urgent Care place across the parking lot.

We got to the Minute Clinic, and I was pleasantly surprised. There was nobody waiting. In fact, the nurse practitioner on duty was talking on the phone. When she saw us signing in, she promtly finished her call.

The nurse, "Jackie" was very friendly. She took the signed treatment consent form, and processed my insurance card. She also asked a few basic questions--symptoms, other medications taken, drug allergies, etc.

She examined Lucas and he did indeed have an infection in his left ear. Jackie prescribed antibiotics and ear drops to relieve pain. She also had a copy of her diagnosis report sent to Lucas' primary care doctor. We were in and out of there in 15 minutes.

I probably should have had the prescriptions filled at CVS, but I opted to go to the Fry's Pharmacy near our house instead. They know us there. Besides, I simply prefer to have all our family's prescriptions on file at one place.

I was told that Luke's medicine would be ready in 20 minutes. No problem. I have other shopping to do anyway.

When we returned to the pharmacy, the line of people was 5 deep. Four of them were there to buy allergy medicine, which is now kept behind the pharmacy counter. So instead of filling my son's prescriptions, the pharmacist has to check ID, have customers sign a ledger, and ring up their drug purchases. Yes, there was a technician working too, but she was taking phone calls that appeared to be business-related.

I was incensed. These insipid meth-heads have made it impossible for regular people to buy Claritin right off the shelf. Instead, we have to jump through countless hoops...all in the quest for allergy relief. This causes valuable resources to be expended. And the pharmacist--a highly educated professional, who should be mixing antibiotics for my sick child--has been relegated to the role of gatekeeper for Sudafed.

On the bright side, Lucas' medicines cost the princely sum of $2.17. I even put my debit card away and paid cash. He's also feeling much better. The ear pain was gone by Saturday night, and he didn't have to miss out on any of the family Easter activities.