Thirty

I watched VH-1's new show, I Hate My 30s this week. Having been in my 30s for...a few years now, I really wanted to like this show. But I had a hard time getting through the entire episode. That could be because I was in bed nursing a headache at the time. Or maybe it was because I simply couldn't relate to the characters.

I Hate My 30s is about a bunch of unmarried office workers who likely don't have kids, and appear to be afraid of the big three-oh. No diversity there...except maybe for the token black guy. He was pretty cool. Anyway, stating that you hate an entire decade of your life is a very harsh statement...especially when you haven't lived it all yet.

On the other hand, it is OK to hate some facets of being 30. Or 40. Or any other age. Below, I have compiled a list of things I don't like about being in my 30s:

--You're too old for acne, and too young for wrinkles...Yet you have some of both.

--At the mall, it's hard to find clothes that fit your age. Everything looks like it came from either Hollister or Talbot's.

--If you return to college, you're most likely the oldest one in the class. Sometimes you're even older than the instructor.

--You've worn out your IKEA furniture, but you can't yet afford to buy a new living room set from Ethan Allen...or even Levitz.

--When the door-to-door salesmen come knocking, you can no longer look doe-eyed and lie that your mom and dad aren't home. They KNOW you're the homeowner.

--You have two choices: too-tight, panty-peeking, low-rise jeans or mom jeans...neither of which flatter the typical thirtysomething woman's figure. There's very little in between.

--The music you enjoyed in your teens is now being played on the oldies station.

--You no longer get carded.

--Instead of saving up for goodies like a new handbag or an iPod, you're now saving for boring necessities like window screens or a new vacuum system for the pool.

--The last time you stayed up past midnight was to clean up after a vomiting child.

--In the past, you colored your hair to achieve a fun, new look. Now, you do it to cover the gray...not that I would know :-)~

--You find yourself going out for an early dinner to beat the crowds. Also, you simply must be home in time to watch Desperate Housewives...even if it is a rerun.

--You tune in to The Real World only to see what the house looks like this season.

--When shopping for a new car, you find yourself caring less about the coolness factor. Instead, you're interested in nitpicky little details like the size of the radio buttons, the location of the shifter, and how many cup holders the car has.

--You find yourself insulting "that crap" your kids watch on TV...just like your parents did to you.

--Same goes for music. You quit keeping up with new music sometime during the Seattle/grunge era.

--Waiters, cashiers, and other service workers now refer to you as "Ma'am".

Being in my 30s does have its perks, however. Lower insurance rates, for one thing. Also, people tend to give you credit for knowing more than you actually do. I find this to be particularly true in the college setting. Just because you're older, the other students assume you have all the answers. Boy, have I got them fooled.

But perhaps the best part is the fact that my age bracket isn't being represented by Paris or Britney.